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A Jew walks into a bank in
New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to
Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such
a loan, so the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on
the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank
agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and
parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and
this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little
puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are
a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?"
The Jew replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks
for 15 bucks?" |
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The President of the
congregation went to visit the Rabbi in the hospital,
who had just suffered a mild heart-attack.
He says, "Rabbi, the board just voted 12 to 8 to wish you a speedy
recovery!" |
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Saleman
Rachel and Sarah meet one day in Brent
Cross shopping centre.
“Is it true, Rachel,” asks Sarah, “that your son Benjy has moved out of
law?”
“Yes, it’s true,” replies Rachel, “he’s now a salesman in a tailor
shop.”
“Mazeltov,” says Sarah, “but a salesman? Is he any good at it?”
Rachel replies, “Is he any good? Why he’s brilliant. Only yesterday a
woman comes into his shop to buy a suit to bury her poor late husband
in. And guess what my Benjy did?
He talked her into buying an extra pair of trousers.” |
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How did you do
that?
Moishe the farmer had made out a Will that stipulated how
his prize cows would be shared out to his 3 sons on his death. He
decided that half the cows should go to his eldest son, one third to his
second eldest son and one ninth to his youngest son. He though this was
fair.
Some years later he died and his sons knew that there were 17 cows. But
they just couldn’t divide them according to their father’s wishes. So
they had to call in the learned Rabbi.
After much thought, the Rabbi went away and returned with one of his own
cows, making 18 cows. Then the Rabbi gave the oldest son 9 cows, the
second son got 6 cows and the youngest 2 cows. There was still one cow
left over, so the Rabbi took his cow back home with him. |
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