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Four Jewish ladies are playing a game of
cards in Miami Beach. The first lady sighs and says, "Oy..." The second
lady nods, sighs, and says, "Oy vey!" The third lady says, "Oy veys meer!"
The fourth lady chimes in: "Enough talk about the children already.
Let's get back to the game." |
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It's winter in Russia and
the people are hungry. The town council announces that meat will be
arriving so all everyone gets on line to wait for the meat. After an
hour of waiting in the snow and the freezing cold, the town council
announces that there will be less meat coming then expected, all Jews go
home. So, all the Jews leave the line. Another hour goes by and, again,
the town council announces there will be less than expected food
arriving, all non-communists go home. All the non-communists leave the
line. Another hour, and the town council announces there will be no food
arriving, everybody go home. As one man trudges home through the snow,
he turns to his friend and says "you see, the Jews always get to go home
first!" |
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A rabbi who's been leading a congregation
for many years is upset by the fact that he's never been able to eat
pork. So he devises a plan whereby he flies to a remote tropical island
and checks into a hotel. He immediately gets himself a table at the
finest restaurant and orders the most expensive pork dish on the menu.
As he's eagerly waiting for it to be served, he hears his name called
from across the restaurant. He looks up to see 10 of his loyal
congregants approaching. His luck, they'd chosen the same time to visit
the same remote location! Just at that moment, the waiter comes out with
a huge silver tray carrying a whole roasted pig with an apple in its
mouth. The rabbi looks up sheepishly at his congregants and says, "Wow -
you order an apple in this place and look how it's served!" |
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